Holiday Card Review

I'm an admitted stationery freak who enjoys perusing all kinds of paper products and spending countless hours selecting the perfect card for a friend's birthday, anniversary or baby shower. I love the different textures, embellishments, messages, and graphics that work in harmony to create that unique greeting for that special event or holiday. No surprise that I love the holiday season to see what treasure will be mailed to me. And not just mailed, but addressed, stamped, and signed -- an archaic gesture of a sincere, communicative civilization that recognizes religious customs and holidays, as well as the aesthetics of greeting cards. But every year, the mailbox contents are more disappointing.

I should also add that I love photos almost as much as stationery, but photos as stationery is bad form yet rapidly accepted amongst our society. As a mom to a 17-month year old boy, I have a higher than average ratio of cards featuring cute toddlers, but even the older families are having a hard time letting go of the family photo as holiday card, and I feel compelled to offer an honest review in hopes of inspiring people to return to art on paper (of course, these aren't the actual names).

"I Oughta Be In Pictures!"
Burton, an adorable boy is featured on his family's card in four different poses on stairs, near a brook, looking, happy, excited. I love Burton, and I love his mama, but I'm not in love with the casting card. Maybe he should be in movies, but I'm not an agent.

"Dora the Explorer"
Constance waves adorably in front of some ancient ruin, signifying her parents commitment to maintaining their lifestyle and bravery for toting their toddler to a different continent. It says "she's never going to remember the pyramids of Egypt, but that's not going to stop us." I'd also like to travel with my tyke, but I'm too afraid to board a plane with my little monster and don't like having my nose rubbed in it.

"That Magic Moment"
These cards usually feature two siblings making nice. Hugging, smiling, kissing, playing -- all totally adorable, but also a total anomaly. I know these moments happen, but it's pretty obvious that they are the centerpiece of the holiday card because they don't happen often enough.

"What Winter?"
The family frolics on the beach in Hawaii, Mexico, or the Caribbean, sporting a tan and swimwear, stopping for just a moment to capture the photo that will be featured in a holiday card sent in the dead of winter. It contains trace sentiments of "we're always on vacation" and "we're stay warm even in winter." I think this type is also a bit of a nose-rubber.

"Paper Toddler"
Mom and Dad have no qualms about putting their child in a hilarious but humiliating outfit or scenario. In these photos, parents are projecting a carefree, little maverick attitude onto their son (yes, it's almost always a boy) and you can almost hear the universal reaction, "Now that's funny!" Until son grows up and has one more reason to resent his parents.

"Everyone Smile"
This is either a large family or a family with older kids. Everyone is dressed nicely, sitting or standing together symmetrically and (1-2-3 smile!) smiling. It sends a very straightforward sentiment of "once a year we all get dressed and smile on cue -- happy holidays." These set-ups are also an indicator that the family photo season is coming to an end and soon the parents will return to buying a box o' cards.

And my family holiday card? I've been married 3 years and have yet to send a holiday card. If I find some time tomorrow, I might get around to it, but at least I know it won't be plastered with a family photo on the front. Maybe one on the inside though.